OK, so I’ll move on. She wants me to find a girlfriend, so that I can move on and be happy. I see her love for me, never failing, never ending. One day, she might feel that she doesn’t love me anymore, but that would be wrong. It’s already written in ROM inside her heart. It’s not in EEPROM, so it’s not erasable. To change what’s written in ROM, you have to lift the chip and change it. What does that mean? That means in the next life. Literally. She’s a Christian, so she doesn’t believe in such things. I’m a free thinker, and I don’t believe in such things, either :p
It’s not because she’s my first love. Not because I’m her first (maybe) love either. There’s only space for one person inside the ROM, and it’s written down because we wanted to, not because the conditions made us to.
So now I don’t worry about it, because I’ll meet her again down the road. I like the Backstreet Boys, and here’s a song that very clearly expresses the situation right now. Pay attention to every verse.
Never Gone
I really miss you, a song that I gotta say
The things we did, the things we said
Keep comin’ back to me and make me smile again
You showed me how to face the truth
Everything that’s good in me I owe to you
Though the distance that’s between us
Now may seem to be too far
It will never separate us
Deep inside, I know you are
Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we’ve got to say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life (yeah)
Never gone
No, no, no, no
I walk along these empty streets
There is not a second you’re not here with me
The love you gave, the grace you’ve shown
Will always give me strength and be my cornerstone
(Somehow) somehow you found a way
To see the best I have in me
As long as time goes on
I swear to you that you will be
Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close (always close), everyday (everyday yeah)
Every step along the way
Even though for now we’ve got to say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life (in my life, yeah)
Never gone (gone from me)
If there’s one thing I believe (I believe)
I will see you somewhere down the road again
(I will see you somewhere, somewhere, somewhere, somewhere)
(Never gone) Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close (always close, always close), everyday (everyday, everyday)
Every step along the way
Even though for now we’ve got to say goodbye (yeah, yeah)
I know you will be forever in my life
Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are (in my heart is where you are)
Always close (always close), everyday (everyday)
Every step along the way
Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Somewhere down the road… Well, it’s very difficult for me to see that far right now. Why? Because I still feel the pain of losing her. But then I’m a man, and men should be able to look farther than women. She can’t look that far, and I don’t blame her for that. But I have to stand up, be a man, be wise, and look far while still not ignoring what’s right in front of me now.
Now there’s a problem though: I’ve been ignoring my studies lately. What to do? Drop classes. Oh well. I’m tempted to drop out of school altogether, but I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. Well, let’s just see what happens. I need all the help I can get…
There are benefits from this breakup:
1. She gets a new boyfriend who doesn’t make her cry (for now, at least), in just a few days’ time (now, that’s a world record!).
2. She gets to taste different kinds of boys, and that’s something good girls usually can’t get.
3. I can find another girlfriend, so that when the time’s ready, she‘ll be my last.
4. I can function normally as a boy. I mean, I wasn’t normal in a way that I didn’t consider other girls, at all. Well, I used to flirt, but I have my principles (though it seems stupid), and I wasn’t going to two-time her.
5. I can focus on and care for my family more. When I was with her, she was all I have in mind. I ignored my sisters and brother. I ignored my mother and father. Sorry. Now I can spend more time with them.
[Edit:] Make note of point nr. 2 above. I’m kinda weird, in a sense that I want her to get things other girls can’t. Maybe it’s part of my love for her, but it sure is weird. I just want her to be special, to experience things other girls can’t (for stupid reasons). I won’t detail the "things" I want her to get, but you should get the general idea. For example, girls usually need only one boyfriend, but I want her to taste more than one. I know, these days breakups happen very often, and girls play around with many boys all the time. But most the top quality girls don’t do that. Now, you can argue all you want on this topic, but I’m saying this from my experiences and from others’ experiences. Anyway, I’m happy that right now she’s had two. You know, I still feel that two isn’t enough for her. Let’s see how many she gets 
It’s not fun for me, and of course I can get jealous at times (although I don’t have the right to be jealous for her, I still do), but looking at the brighter side, and looking far, I’m happy for her. Now even she will think I’m mad, and she’ll probably laugh at this, but that’s me. I’m weird. I’m stupid. I’m [put anything bad here], but that’s me.
I know I’m having mood swings right now, and this is one of those precious times when I’m in my right mind. You can see it from my choice of words 
Currently, my "right state of mind" times are getting longer, and my "disordered state of mind" times are getting shorter.
I hope she reads my blog and not just skim over it. She didn’t the last time (oh no, when she reads this she will get mad at me… arrgghhh… :p).
So friends (on Friendster, everyone’s a friend, right?), sorry for the over-blogging-attitude, I just need a way to express myself. I don’t want to keep it all inside. As for blogging on blogspot.com, I do have an account there, but I feel more comfortable with Friendster’s blog for now. Sorry for the inconvenience caused. Please contact our Customer Service for more information…
My dry jokes have to stop.
